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Friday, 16 August 2013

UNIVERSAL LAWS



  1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
  2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
  3. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
  4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
  5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
  6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
  7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in  water, the telephone rings.
  8. Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting  someone you know increases dramatically when you are with  someone you don't want to be seen with.
  9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone  that a machine won't work, it will.
  10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is  inversely proportional to the reach.
  11. Law of the Theater - At any event, the people whose  seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
  12. The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup  of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last  until the coffee is cold.
  13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people  in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
  14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an  open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
  15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you  don't know what you are talking about.
  16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
  17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
  18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy  As  soon as you find a product that you really like, they stop making it.
  19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an  appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel  better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

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